NFL Week 4 Picks & Predictions - London Calling for Better Teams

All the good teams are on a bye this week, so you’ll just have to settle for pretending that Dolphins vs Raiders is suddenly an interesting matchup just because there’s a big stupid clock in the background. 

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NFL Week 3 Recap & Reactions - Thanks for taking my call, I believe Drew Stanton is better than Kap because he doesn't have tattoos

and also because a whole is better than a half if you get what I'm saying, and I think you do. Roll tide. 

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NFL Week 3 Picks & Predictions - Long Time Listener, First Time Caller. I'm Sick Of This PC Garbage. Back When My Dad Hit Me...

Another week, another player hit his girlfriend so hard it sent her to the Street Fighter Continue screen. I wouldn’t count on anyone putting in any extra quarters to bring Jonathan Dwyer back. So sit down, get comfy, drink responsibly, live mas, and let me tell you how sick and tired I am of these libtards telling me how to raise my kid. Might as well put dresses on them. Back when I was a kid, my dad made me wear a dress and dance for all of his drunk friends and look how I turned out.   

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NFL Week 2 Recap & Reactions - Bills and Cardinals in Sole Possession of First Place and My Heart

Jamaal Charles, AJ Green, RG3, DeSean Jackson, Knowshon Moreno, Ryan Mathews, Tavon Austin, Gerald McCoy, Eric Berry, Charles Tillman, and Vernon Davis were all injured this week. None of this would have ever happened if that Godless homosexual Michael Sam had never kissed a dude on my TV. How am I supposed to explain to my imaginary son that these men love each other. Stop being queer and watch RG3's ankle snap, pussy. 

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NFL Week 2 Picks & Predictions - So Many Arrests You'd Think it Was the Offseason

Deadspin

Hey, did you guys hear about this Ray Rice business? Oh you have? Let me corner you and tell you my feelings about punching women in the face. Stop walking off, I need to tell you about how my parents beating me made me the man I am today.  

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NFL Week 1 Power Rankings - 32 Incredible Teams You Won't Believe! Fans HATE Them!

The first Monday Night Football of the year, and the biggest highlight of the night was Chris Berman’s incoherent rambling about domestic violence being immediately cut off by a punt block. He never finished his sentence, nor his thought. He was in the middle of telling everyone in the NFL to get involved and truly make a difference in the lives of THE PUNT IS BLOCKED

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NFL Week 1 Sunday Recap & Reactions - Joe Flacco & the 120 Million Dollar Dick

I’m just going to keep telling myself “it’s only 1 game, things will get better” over and over again as I cry into my pillow. 

It’s the first Monday off the season, which means a couple of good teams lost and as a result their seasons are over and they should trade everyone and start over in the draft next year.

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NFL Week 1 Picks & Predictions - Oh My God, We Made It

We made it. All these months of baseball, Johnny Football getting shithoused on inflatable swans, and Michael Sam showering with teammates are finally paying off with glorious football. It was shaky near the end, but I can finally relax and watch my Cowboys go out there and....win 5 games...and....god dammit.
  

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